Pricey poo-brew

“Pricey poo-brew”

Sounds like something inspired by a Dr. Seuss book, but it wasn’t.

What was the inspiration?  A $50 cup of coffee made from beans picked out of elephant poop.

 

Yes.  $50 a cup.  Yes.  Elephant poop.  I was going to write feces, but that word is much too elegant for something so colossal.  Here is an article about the coffee and the 20 happy and very regular elephants that contribute to this coffee:

<img style=’width:240px;border-width:0px;’ alt=” src=’http://img1-cdn.newser.com/square-image/159066-20121210113308/50-a-cup-coffee-made-from-poop.jpeg’>

 

I’ve traveled around a fair amount and have eaten more than my share of odd things.  Andrew Zimmerman’s show “Bizarre Foods” is a favorite of mine.  More often than not, I find myself thinking “I’d eat that” as Andrew cruises through culinary craziness.

 

In fact, I would probably try the pricey poo-brew (as long as somebody else paid for it).  The conversational value of such a feat would be well worth any visions of elephantine doodoos falling to earth as I sipped the steamy concoction.  But here is my real quandary, and the main point of this post:

 

Who thinks of this???

 

Seriously!  Who was the first person to walk up to a pile (not a small pile either, my friends) of elephant byproduct and say, “Hmmmm, I think I will poke around in this tender little (whoops, not so little) morsel and see if there is something in there that I can make a drink out of.”

 

It wouldn’t have crossed my mind, unless of course I was playing a joke on a buddy of mine…..

*scene opens with Zack brewing a pot of “coffee” while on safari*

“Brian, I know you would have warned me about the fire ants near the latrine if you would have known about them.  That’s just the kind of guy you are.  Hey, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time brewing this lovely coffee.  I already drank my share.  Why don’t you finish it off?”

 

Pricey poo-brew.  And people are buying it.  If there is a market for it, why not?

Have you seen or read about any products/food/drinks that make you wonder “How did this start?”

If you have, please share.

 

Zack…

 

On a side note, I’m strongly considering starting a new coffee company called “Pass the Coffee”.  I’m just worried about how the Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition will react to my “processing” of the beans.

 

 

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17 comments on “Pricey poo-brew

  1. H-O-W-L-I-N-G in Starbucks over “Pass” the Coffee,” Zack.

    You should, for your own protection, put the standard ™ after that, lest someone sneak in and steal your chit idea.

    So! I planned to post a blog (sometime in the next decade) titled What were they thinking? covering this very topic. There is a brand of coffee from Indonesia marketed under the name Kopi Luwak. Here’s what I found on Urban Legends.:

    “The secret of this delicious blend,” enthuses the Indonesia Tourism Promotion Board, “lies in the bean selection, which is performed by a luwak, a species of civet cat endemic to Java. The luwak will eat only the choicest, most perfectly matured beans which it then excretes, partially digested, a few hours later. Plantation workers then retrieve the beans from the ground, ready for immediate roasting.”

    Coffee connoiseur Chris Rubin is quoted as claiming the coffee beans are worth their insane lofty $600 per pound price because:

    The aroma is rich and strong, and the coffee is incredibly full bodied, almost syrupy. It’s thick with a hint of chocolate, and lingers on the tongue with a long, clean aftertaste. It’s definitely one of the most interesting and unusual cups I’ve ever had.

    • zkullis says:

      LOL Great stuff Gloria!

      I imagine it takes many more cats and consequently more shifting of shtuff to equal an elephant dose, so the $600 cost per pound makes perfect sense… 😉

      Question: Does the “partial” digestion (it just so happens that it is only MOSTLY digested) of the bean account for the syrupy texture?

      I’m not sure that particular flavor is a flavor I would want “lingering” on my tongue. And how in the hell do you get a clean aftertaste with post-bowel coffee bean? LMAO

      I’ll need to think more about getting product testers. Chances are I will be too busy trying to figure out what kind of legumes will add to the rich and strong aroma of my cheaper than elephant or Luwak coffee.

      Ha ha ha, thanks!

      • Happy to share, Zack. It’s amazing what we learn if we just leave our minds (and internet browsers) open to the possibilities.

        So many things I have yet to experience.

        Erm…pooh coffee is not on my list.

        Sorry.

        Take me off that list for product testers. I have my sights set on life experiences on a grander scale. Perhaps spending quality time in a secluded, private, paradise setting, or traveling the highways seeking inspiration and experiences.

        So much to explore. Set up a Travel Adventure Agency in tandem with your search for the right legumes, and you might have an idea that toasts my marshmallows. (Trying out a new cliche twist to replace “pops my kettle corn.”)

        Pooh-based coffee? Only on a triple-dog-dare with a gazillion in payoffs.

  2. Yuck. I wonder if that would be kosher. 😉 I’m guessing not. But to answer your question, I would assume that in times of great hunger and famine, people had had to drink their own urine.

    It’s hard to imagine that anyone’s poo would add delightful to any recipe. But what do I know.

    I wish you could see my face right now.

    It’s all twisted up in a grimace.

    On second thought…it’s good that you can’t see it. 😉

    • zkullis says:

      I’m betting it’s not kosher. 😀

      When forced into a desperate time, then go for it. But the idea of forking out $50 for a cup of Jumbo-bean-Java is just a bit too much. 😉

      Okay, you should include a picture of the grimace face next time. LOL
      It couldn’t have been worse than mine.

      Thanks for posting Renée

  3. Jenny Hansen says:

    I’m late to the party but you’re killing me with this post. I’m putting it on More Cowbell tomorrow. 🙂

  4. […] Kullis – Pricey Poo-Brew (put down your drink before […]

  5. If Fort Knox bestowed upon me every gold bar in the vault, I wouldn’t spend a fraction of an ounce of it on that coffee (I might consider selling it though…then I could just buy Fort Knox).

    The ‘what were they thinking?!’ item that comes immediately to mind for me is a protein powder I was checking out at a health food store a few years ago. As soon as I noticed the phrase, ‘Pre-Digested’ on the label, I decided it really wasn’t anything I was interested in consuming. To my way of thinking, there is only ONE way to digest something…and two possible ways of retrieving it. Yuck! 🙂

  6. […] More recently, he fell victim to a blog-jack on Flashbangs and Fiction [*whistling*]  when he published an article titled Pricey Poo Brew. […]

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